We Crave a Different Kind of Buzz

 Ten Reasons Why I Want to Be Lorde

1. That hair
2. She is only 16 and already more famous than you will ever be
3. Grimes tweets at her
4. She rocks a laurel wreath better than Caesar
5. She can sing without opening her mouth
6. Her real name is Ella Yelich-O'Connor
7. Her life is so exotic
8. She does Yeezus better than Yeezus
9. She's been called "The Thinking Person's Lana Del Rey" (I thought Lana Del Rey was the thinking person's Lana Del Rey but whatev) 
10. She's Queen Bee 

One Reason Why it Would Never Work Out Between Us

                                           1. Tigers on a gold leash don't interest her